The View From Here – This Hurts

By: Carrie Buchanan


Carrie Buchanan

I think we knew it was coming.  But this hurts.

A second state of emergency has been declared for the province of Ontario.   It will begin “effective immediately” and a stay-at-home order will be in place starting Thursday morning.  We’re asked to work from home if possible and only go out for essentials.  Groceries. Pharmacy.  And maybe a walk in the fresh air.

Anybody else feel like the wind just got knocked out of you?  Me too.  This sits heavy.  There are days it just hits you harder than others.  This is one of them. It’s been a tough few days actually.  I don’t know about you, but my anxiety is creeping up.  I’ve had two nights of tossing and turning, unable to sleep, worried about those rising numbers.  It seems our circle is getting smaller.  More and more people we know are dealing with this virus.

Online learning has been a challenge in our house.   My kids sleep schedules are all over the place and I’m not doing anything to fix it.  They miss their friends. My youngest misses leaving the house to go to school.  Truth be told, I would have loved the chance to take gym class at home when I was in high school.  I still have nightmares.  (smile)

It’s an adjustment for all of us in different ways.  I miss having conversations with people outside of my house.  I went for an eye appointment last week and it was like a therapy session.  I just kept sharing and asking questions and making all kinds of small talk.  It was so nice to have another person to talk to.  Even if separated by plexiglass and face masks.

Days like today are harder than others.  It’s hard to sit behind my desk and play music and put a smile on my face when I want to cry for all that we’re losing.  Again. Still.

We’re like small children getting in trouble by our parents.  Grounded for bad behavior.

I threw on an old “Little House on the Prairie” DVD last night and escaped the world for an hour with a few episodes.   Caught up in life in Walnut Grove with the Ingalls family.  Simpler times for sure.   Community was there for each other in times of need.  That’s the stuff we need to remember.   That we are stronger together.  Helping each other through the hard times.

This is going to be even harder this time around because we’re still hurting from the first round.  I’m going to hide my scissors now so I don’t do something drastic with my hair.  Not even kidding.  And I’ll pull out my picture from grade five when I gave myself a hair cut.  That should scare me enough to lay off and don’t touch it.  I hope.  (smile)

How are you feeling right now?  If you ever need someone to reach out to – send me an email anytime –

Together, we’ll get through this.  With bad hair, and stretchy pants.  (smile)





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