© Can Stock Photo / roxanabalint
The View From Here – What Are Your Big Moments?
My 15 year old caught me off guard this morning by asking me “What are my big moments in my life?” My first reaction was a bit of disappointment. Did I really not give her anything worthy of a school report? I was a bit stumped. At 15, she hasn’t had a lot of big moments yet.
I had to think carefully. She was in a play for summer camp. Up on stage in front of a crowd of people. First lost tooth. First steps. Those are more MY moments in her life.
We haven’t travelled or been on a plane. The only concert she has been to was the Backyardigans many years ago. Does that even count as a big moment? Or one she’d rather forget?
I could be sarcastic and say “When you put the dishes away without asking.” Again. MY moment. (smile)
First boyfriend? First date? Picking out our cat and chasing him around the room.
How would YOU answer that same question? What are YOUR big moments in your life?
At 49 I have a lot and not all of them are good ones, but certainly life changing.
The time I nearly drowned in a public pool after sneaking out of the house to go swimming with friends and daring to go into the deep end when I couldn’t even swim.
Buying a first record.
First date. First dance. First kiss.
Getting my drivers license. First car accident. The day I got my license. #truestory
The death of my mother, brother and sister. Life changing moment leaving a permanent record of time. Before the accident and after. Not a moment I like to talk about or even remember, but it exists and is forever part of who I am.
The day my first child was born.
And the day I married my husband. 21 years today. We celebrate our anniversary today. Quietly. Maybe with some takeout later. A moment in time that seems like yesterday in so many ways. The perfect dress. My mom’s veil. Fake flowers that would last forever in my favourite colours. A small church in the town my husband grew up in.
Lots of big moments through the marriage. Learning so many things.
Like – you can’t control other people.
Marriage doesn’t solve everything and make you happy. That’s on YOU.
Marriage isn’t like a cheesy Hallmark movie. It’s isn’t romance and roses all the time. There is give and take. Compromise.
And don’t ever compare your marriage or relationship to someone else’s. Don’t believe those articles in the magazines and don’t take those stupid quizzes.
When you let go of what the world tells you it should be, and stop comparing your marriage to what the movies/ books/ magazine articles tell you it SHOULD be – then you find the good stuff.
When you let go of trying to fix and control the other person – that’s when you find a freedom.
It’s certainly harder than we are led to believe, but it’s sure worth it. All of it. 21 years later. 3 kids and a cat. A beautiful home we call ours. Sometimes the biggest moments to reflect on come from all the little moments along the way. I think it takes more than 15 years to accumulate.
Someday when my youngest looks back on her life, she will have so many more of those big moments to celebrate and reflect on. For now she’ll have to take the smallest of things, like meeting the Sesame Street characters or seeing the Backyardigans live to be the big moments. Starting high school. Making it through a pandemic. Maybe that should be up there too.
What are your big moments? Feel free to share. Send me an email. Let’s connect.
