The View From Here – What Scares You?
I could answer sarcastically and say, “my reflection”.
But lately? Aging scares me. Maybe I’m home too much with too much time on my hands. Maybe it’s all those video calls where I focus on my flaws way too much. If I had a quarter for every time I said “Do I really look like THAT?” Ha. My wild hair, my out of control eyebrows, the wrinkles in my neck. Lately I’ve been staring at my hands and noticing the changes.
So yes. Aging and the changes I’m dealing with as I approach 50 kinda scare me a little.
I think this past year has increased my awareness and appreciation for how quickly life passes. It might feel like our days are blending one into the other, and nothing feels different than the day before, but still, I have become so much more aware of just how quickly life is passing by.
I spent my week off going through old family pictures. Reflecting on the past. Things we have done. A smaller waistline. (smile) In some ways, all those years are a blur. Almost fifty years have passed so quickly.
I watched the funeral of Prince Phillip and instead of thinking only of the loss of the family, I was thinking “How would I do this?” What songs would I have play that mean something to me? That I think are a reflection of me and my life. What are some of my favourite quotes or scriptures?
So yes, my reflection scares me lately so I try to avoid mirrors when I can. (smile). And how quickly time is passing us by scares me too.
But other things still scare me. Spiders. Bathing suit season. Bees in the car. Raisins in cookies that look like chocolate chips. #trustissues (smile)
But I also have an abnormal fear of the dentist. I have an amazing dentist and crew at Riverview Family Dental in Corunna. I have no legitimate reason to show them anything but love. But my FEAR of all things tooth related has me in a deep seated anxiety and fear that builds days in advance of the appointment. My heart races. I get all sweaty. And that’s just for a cleaning. (smile). When something else is going on, and there’s actual CONCERN over a real problem, that’s when my thoughts go out of control. This is when the teeth are coming out. How many people have those dreams?
I’ve been dealing with an issue the last few weeks that I’ve been hoping would go away on it’s own. But it didn’t so I made the appointment and had to get it checked.
Glad I did because it was for sure something that needed the attention. So for that I have to give a huge shout out to Dr. Sarah and the crew at Riverview Family Dental in Corunna who are absolutely AMAZING. They listen to my irrational fears, laugh with me, and help calm me down as I sit in the chair. And to be able to leave my house and see other people, who smile and listen to your ramblings is a real treat and I can’t wait to go back for my follow up. Already planning my “fit”. You have no idea how much I look forward to things I never REALLY did before.
Oil changes? Yup. If I get to leave the house and talk to another human. Sign me up.
Dentist? Poking, prodding and horrible sounding equipment? Sign me up.
We need people and conversation and connection.
Even if it’s with my out of control hair, crazy eyebrows and slight awkwardness.
