The View From Here – Is It Over Yet?
Anybody else struggling right now? Me too. Same girl, same.
Every day feels like it’s blending into the next.
My heart has been so heavy lately.
I’ve been havi
ng a hard time in so many areas of my life.
I’ve gained weight because of all the bad food choices and I haven’t been feeling myself. I’m not alone in the weight gain either. According to THIS, most of us Canadians have gained weight.
Not really a surprise. We’re eating more and moving less. Eating more comfort foods. Feeding our feelings. So now, not only do we deal with the feelings of isolation and loneliness, fear and worry, we’re dealing with expanding waistlines and clothes that don’t fit. (smile).
That can’t be just me (smile). To be honest, I rarely get dressed up. I’m afraid to see if my office clothes still fit. Better for my mental health right now to leave that for another day. “It’s better to be happy in leggings than sad in jeans”. Truer words have never been spoken.
I’ve been trying so hard to just push through the sadness and insecurity and fear. Because that’s what you do. You push through. We still have to adult and do adult things. Put on the brave face in front of your kids. Pretend you’re not a little bit scared.
I’m watching as people argue over this pandemic. The rules in place.
People close to me go back and forth. From worry to “it’s just like the flu”.
I try to stay positive. But it’s so hard.
Last week was probably the worst week I’ve had. I just couldn’t shake it. The sad.
I talk to my kids about everything and they do the same with me. So I shared with my 17 year old that I was having a hard time. I was feeling really sad.
She pushed me to go for a walk this weekend. We walked through the trails at Canatara Park as the snow fell. There really is something to be said about the great outdoors. It does wonders for the soul. We’re so lucky we have it. We ventured to the Animal Farm. Said hi to the many ducks wandering around. The donkeys even looked a bit sad. But it was so good to be outside and have some “normal”.
You have to appreciate that moment in time when your kids parent YOU.
We binge-watched Criminal Minds. We made snacks and watched one of my favourite movies. It feels good to be taken care of.
How many of us feel like we have to do it all? Take care of everything? Keep it all together for everyone else even when it feels like you are falling apart?
I’ve been feeling so alone in everything. And I’m sharing. So nobody else feels alone in the struggle.
I think it’s so important to share the struggle. And I think when people share the struggle, it’s important to realize that you don’t have to swoop in and save the day and fix it. Sometimes people just need to talk it out. To be heard. Understood.
We don’t know when this is going to be over. There are no guarantees as to what will happen as we continue through this. I know it doesn’t help to get mad at everyone else. It doesn’t help to argue how you think it should be done.
We need to remember that we are in it together. Even if every single one of us feels differently. Even if it affects each of us differently. We’re still in this together.
I had an email from a friend I hadn’t heard from in a really long time yesterday and it made my day. Somebody I have missed terribly. It’s easy to get focused on what we can’t do and where we can’t go. But it sure is appreciated when you get a letter from a friend who reminds you you aren’t alone in the struggle.
I also got an email yesterday from a really kind listener who told me I was HER POSITIVE INSPIRATION and it brought me to happy tears.
And my day ended with a call from my dad. A little pep talk. A check in. Reassurance that everything will be ok. Because sometimes, even at 49, a girl just needs to hear from her dad that it’s going to be okay.
Sometimes it can feel like you’re responsible for everything going on around you and it gets to be too much.
I blog. When it feels too much.
I go for a walk with my daughters.
I go for comfort food.
I dance in my living room to my favourite 80’s band.
I paint my nails. I colour my hair.
And I keep reminding myself “this too shall pass”. This will be our “when I was a kid we walked an hour to school, uphill, both ways” story to keep telling for generations.
Nope. It’s not over yet and doesn’t look like it’s going to end anytime soon. It’s hard to know what to do when we’re going through something we’ve never gone through before.
Let’s keep reaching out to people. I love hearing from you so keep texting us using the A1 Security text line – 519-464-1999. Email me anytime cbuchanan@blackburnradio.com.
Like us on Facebook, follow us on Instagram and Twitter. We are here for you as much as we can be.
Keep spreading the positive vibes.
