The View From Here – Tell Me Something Good About Your Mom
I smile when I think of my mom.
Mother’s Day weekend is here. A day to celebrate mom’s everywhere. Mom’s, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, friends. Even Mama Oprah. I know I’m not the only one who calls her that. She is NOT a mom. She’s never had kids, but so many people around the world call her mama Oprah because she is that nurturing, love giving figure. Dishing out advice and helping us grow. So many people to be celebrated this weekend. Maybe even a nod to O. Never underestimate the value of your life on someone else’s or fail to appreciate the impact someone else has had on you.
Tell me something good about your mom or that person in your life that filled that role for you. What are they like? Or what were they like? What did they teach you? How did they inspire you? How did they change you or help you grow?
My mom died in a car accident with my brother and sister when I was just shy of 19. This year will mark 30 Mother’s Days without her. I miss her every day, and no matter how hard I try to keep her memory alive, those memories fade over the years. The only picture I have of the two of us, was when I was about 12. I treasure that picture. I have very few pictures of her.
I never got to know her as an adult. I never got to see her get old. It was strange when I turned the same age as her, and then every year as I get older I appreciate that I got more out of this world than she did.
I do a lot of reflecting on Mother’s Day. I think about my mom. I wonder how much I look like her, act like her, sound like her. I want so much to see her in me.
I smile when I do something that she taught me. I smile when I dance in the living room and think of all the times she did that. Her love of birds and flowers, gardening, garage sales and soap operas. Her “stories”. I share all that.
I wonder if she knew how much I appreciated her. Because as a teenager, I probably did a lot of complaining. (smile) Complaining about being asked to do something I didn’t want to do. Hello, dinner dishes. Hated that job. Complaining when she tried to teach me something about life and I didn’t want to believe she knew anything or could actually be right. We never want our parents to be RIGHT, do we? (smile) It’s funny, in the moment, you don’t realize the importance of it, until much later when you look back and realize the truth of it.
If I could see her right now – I would hug her so tight and thank her for everything I never did before. Tell her she was right about so many things. I would ask her if she was proud of me, my kids, my husband, my life.
I think of my mom and I smile. My mom loved her kids and her family and it was always important. Our house was always full of life and family. I miss that the most.
I hope you find a reason to smile this weekend. If you are a mom, I hope you look at your kids and smile, and remind yourself you’re doing it all right. You are doing your best and that is all anybody can ask. If you think of your mom or that special someone that took her place, I hope you smile. And I hope this weekend is a special one for you no matter what that means for you or how you chose to celebrate.
My three kids are everything to me. They make me smile every single day. (for the most part) There’s the moments where the cereal box is empty, the toilet paper roll is unchanged, dishes everywhere. When you have to be the bad guy. Those moments are hard. But know that someday, they too will look back on those moments with a smile and say (under their breath) “mom was right”.
I am thankful I had my mom for 18 years and what she taught me in that time. I hope that I am the very best of her and I hope I pass that on to my kids. I’m also thankful for the nearly 30 years I’ve had my second mom who has been my side through a lot of life’s ups and downs. Who has been there to cheer me on and cheer me up when needed. Not a replacement for my mom. But an addition to her. I’m so lucky to have had her in my life, and still to this day. I can’t wait to sit and have coffee or tea with her again and sit and talk about anything and everything and feel that hug that I am so desperately in need of.
It’s taken me a lot of years to get to a point where I wasn’t feeling broken and sad on Mother’s Day. A long journey of healing to get to this point. I will smell the lilacs and think of my mom this weekend and maybe dance to some David Lee Roth like she used to do. And play a little Beatles “Hey Jude” one of her favourites. And remember all that was good.
And smile.
Happy Mother’s Day.
