The View From Here – I’m Still Here At Home
This weekend I went out into the world. I had a fancy expensive coffee and found myself a new old outfit. I bought a few birthday presents for my oldest daughter who turns 18 this weekend. Gulp. I went to church. And despite wearing a mask, and standing six feet apart, and covid screening at the door – it felt almost normal. Okay, maybe normal is a stretch. But it was the closest I’ve felt to life before the pandemic and it felt good.
Today I’m feeling the restrictions and isolation again, maybe bigger than before. I had a taste of the outside world and I already miss it. Have you been out? Have you struggled with going back into isolation after?
Normally, I am only out for groceries and other essentials. It’s a quick hello at the checkout. And as much as you try to make small talk, there’s some difficulty through the masks and plexiglass wall. Usually you talk over or misunderstand the other person.
Monday I showed up to work in my new old outfit. I did my hair and makeup, determined to be productive and have a good day. I was distracted and lacked focus. I missed people. Feeling so far away from the world out my window.
Today, I’m sitting in my leggings and favourite hoodie, with my hair up in a messy ponytail and wondering if anybody else feels like the world is going on without them sometimes.
It seems so many people are back to normal. My husband goes to work and my youngest goes to school, but I’m still here. I caught a glimpse of normal this weekend and now I feel left behind again. Like the world is going on around me, but without me. I don’t talk to co-workers unless it’s an email or occasional video chat. Remember the days of avoiding people and co-workers? “I just want to be left alone.” Ha. Careful what you wish for.
I even miss the days of throwing on headphones to tune out co-workers on those busy days where you just know if you don’t do something, you’ll get caught up in the conversation and will never get your work done.
I actually think working from home has left me more productive. No distractions. Even the cat avoids me for the most part now.
It’s hard being at home. Even though I appreciate being able to work from home, it’s still hard. And to be honest, the thought of “back to normal” is a bit scary. I like the idea of it. I just don’t know how hard it’s going to be to get back to normal. I don’t know that I want to go back to dressing up for work and trying to figure out how to get somewhere on time. Packing a lunch. Forgetting said lunch on the counter. (smile)
I hope there is a good period of time that we are given some grace to adjust to “normal” again. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be awkward and shy and uncomfortable. And probably going to need a lesson in how to dress. Is Queer Eye still a thing? Can someone get me on the show? I’m pretty sure I’m going to need some sort of glam squad to help me get back in the world.
That’s my view today.
Still working from home. Distracted by sunshine and birds singing out my home office/ scrapbook room window. Thinking of people I used to see every day and now miss.
Wondering if anyone else feels like the world is going on around you without you in it? Does anybody miss me?
Reach out anytime and stay connected as we continue on in this crazy world. I love to hear from you and know that I’m not alone.
