The View From Here – I Realized Something This Weekend
It’s easy to get frustrated and angry about this covid life. But I realized something this weekend that changed how I was looking at things.
I was getting frustrated with what I WASN’T accomplishing.
Frustrated that despite working from home and really not going anywhere, my house was a mess. A bigger mess than before. Go figure. “Sorry about the mess but we live here!”
I was frustrated that books sat on the shelf waiting to be read.
The jigsaw puzzle was left on the table.
My scrapbook room still full of pictures and stickers – but no scrapbooks made.
But what I WAS doing was LIVING. Doing things I’d been putting off, blaming lack of time or energy.
I was going for bike rides with my kids. Walking the trails in Canatara Park. Taking the cat for car rides. Spontaneously getting in the car and headed down to the river to watch the sun set.
Going for ice cream just because.
Dancing for no reason, in the living room, just because I played a song I really liked.
I realized, that in this new season, nothing was planned or rushed. There was no “hurry and get it done” anymore. Things are still getting done, but at a more relaxed pace.
I had to let go of what I THOUGHT I should be doing right now, and embrace what was happening. Even if it was different.
Even though it can still feel overwhelming – with the social distancing, and masks, and sanitize – sanitize – sanitize!!!! – everywhere you go – there is still a lot of good coming out of it.
I took the day off on Friday and I finally got to see my dad! I haven’t seen my dad and second mom since before this pandemic hit. We sat outside, in the summer sun and heat, and talked and laughed and got caught up from months of not being able to do so in person and it was the best feeling in the world. I don’t know about you, but even at 48 years old, I still feel like a little girl when I visit my dad. There was a lightness in the visit. Because we knew now how special it is.
We know now how special every ordinary every day thing can now be. Because so much was taken away through this pandemic.
Getting outside. Visiting. Seeing another human face and being able to have a conversation in REAL LIFE and not over a screen or by phone.
We know that sitting down to dinner as a family, and not worrying about what time you eat, is a much more relaxed experience.
Taking time to make a meal, and enjoy it together.
Sitting outside for hours at a time, and staring at the gardens in the backyard.
Blue butterflies, hummingbirds, woodpeckers in the trees. Watching the mouse go back and forth in the garden. Eating my ornamental grasses. Trying not to be bitter about that. (smile)
Life has slowed down.
And because of that, small things are so much more enjoyable.
Sitting around the fire pit in the backyard with my kids this weekend. Staring at the stars in the sky. Making s’mores. Talking about school, friends, boys – moments like those matter more than anything else.
Yesterday, I took a trip to Greenhill Gardens. By MYSELF! And it was an incredible experience.
No planning.
I hopped in the car and drove.
And what a beautiful place with a beautiful story. Started by a couple who loved the outdoors and obviously loved gardens.
You can feel the love as you walk through the pathways, the bridge, stop in the seating areas scattered throughout.
Magic.
I can tell you, if there is a way I would love to be remembered, it would be a place like that. Flowers in bloom everywhere. Peaceful. Relaxed. It made me think about the difference we can all make in a positive way.
