Why Does Picture Day Give Me So Much Anxiety?
It’s picture day at work. A day of anxiety and a bit of dread. And analysis. Examining all the flaws. My lips are chapped. My eyes are puffy. My hair is a mystery. Like, seriously, what is happening there? You think I’m joking or exaggerating? Nope. I mean, actually taking the picture with George and Sarah and Eve was a ton of fun. Lots of laughs! But ultimately, I’m so hard on myself.
Does anybody LOVE having their picture taken?
I don’t.
I mean, I love having the picture. I just don’t feel comfortable in front of the camera. In this age of selfies, you’d think we’d adapt. You’d think it would get easier.
I love capturing the moment. I don’t love actually seeing my face in said picture. It doesn’t stop me from taking thousands of pictures every single day. Because I know what it’s like to NOT have pictures of those people and moments that matter.
I would love to have pictures of my mom. I have a handful. Most of them are not the most flattering. She too hated having her picture taken. She was probably the one taking the picture.
What I would give to have more pictures of my mom.
So that’s why I make sure I am in those pictures with my kids. That’s why I make sure we document everything. Because I don’t want there to come a day my kids say “I wish we had pictures”.
But it’s something I struggle with on a regular basis. Accepting myself. The picture. The reflection.
I was walking the trails in Canatara Park on Sunday, with my oldest daughter and her boyfriend. We were taking pictures to capture the moment. For the scrapbook I never have time to make. And I caught myself saying “I hate my face”. Out loud. And my daughter and her boyfriend BOTH said “Mom! We love your face. Don’t say that.”
And I stopped because I realized how it sounded and I realized how it could effect my daughter in a negative way. We want to teach confidence and self esteem, but what kind of example am I setting by scrunching up my face in disappointment and saying something so negative?
Why do we struggle with what we see in the picture or in the mirror? Why are we so hard on ourselves?
Do we ever look at pictures of family or friends and focus on all the flaws? Nope. Because we don’t see them. We see the smile. We see the person that we love so much.
Trying to see myself the same way. I’m a work in progress.
Some of our pics –
