How Are You Holding Up?

By: Carrie Buchanan


Carrie Buchanan

It depends on the day and the minute you ask me.  Just being truthful. For the most part, I think I’m doing okay.

Despite everything changing.  Stores closing.  People losing their jobs.  Not a roll of toilet paper to be found anywhere. (smile)

I woke up this morning, 3:20am, in a sweat.  I don’t know if I was having bad dreams or what, but the feeling of heaviness was crushing.  I started worrying about my family, my job, my husband who is working out of town, our money, our bills, and mostly the health of everyone close to me.

I threw off the covers.  I felt so anxious and unsettled.  I think sometimes, we can go to sleep, and for a brief second when we open our eyes in the morning, we forget.  We forget about everything.

And then it all comes flooding back.

It took some time to calm myself and get back to bed.

Last night, we sat around the dinner table, having breakfast for dinner. and we talked about what was happening in the world around us.  We talk. A lot.  In our house.  About what’s happening and how we’re feeling.  Because we need to express ourselves.  We need to share with each other.

And then we took our cat for a drive.  In the car.  Around the neighbourhood.  And we listened to music.  Cranked up the radio.  Sang along.  To get out of the house.  To feel normal.  For a bit.

I don’t believe there is a need to panic but we need to be cautious and concerned.  We need to do all that we can individually to help each other stay strong.

That means staying home when possible.   No get-togethers.  No visits.  No play dates.  No visiting the grocery store or anywhere else if you have just returned from vacation.

It’s critical.   And we have the power to change it for the better.  Just by staying home.

There is something so unsettling about something that can’t even be seen.

There are tulips coming up in my garden.  There are buds on my lilac trees and on my pussy willow.  Signs of life all around.  Yet we remain in “lockdown”.   Social/ physical distancing.  Staying in our houses as much as we can.  Missing our families.  Even missing our co-workers.

I’m done with television shows and binge watching Netflix.  I miss people.  Conversations where you can see someone smile, or laugh.

It’s changing how I cook.  What I prepare.  How I plan.  I am more aware of what we have in the house.  No more spontaneous trips to the grocery store if a craving for tacos suddenly hits or I need chocolate to get through a bad day.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know that we can get through it.  This community is so strong.  We are strong.

Things look different right now and feel uncertain and scary.

But it won’t be like this forever.

This too, shall pass.

I hope you are doing okay.  I hope that you are hanging in there and taking advantage of this unusual time.

Find the positive in the situation.  Find the good.   Look to the helpers.  And find a reason everyday to be grateful for what you do have.




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