Four Words With That Lead To So Many Conversations

Published On November 7, 2018 | By Carrie Buchanan |

How do those words make you feel ladies? Victoria Secret Fashion Show. Does it make you feel empowered?  Does it make you feel strong and sexy?

I have to vent for a few minutes.  Ready? Here goes.

I HATE the Victoria Secret Fashion Show. Always have. I expect I always will.  It doesn’t leave me feeling empowered or strong or sexy.  It makes me feel exactly the opposite.

Let me explain.  I saw this article online today and started talking to the guys in the room that I happen to work with.

I have heard those four words in the past – Victoria Secret Fashion Show – and automatically I would go to this dark place that I don’t like.  Questioning myself. Comparing. Judging. Criticizing myself in a really unhealthy way.  Confidence gone.  Feeling like no matter what I will never look “like her”.

To be fair, my reaction to the show has changed as I’ve gotten older. I’ve developed more confidence over those years as I take care of myself and work on myself.

But still… that feeling lingers and I get really fired up about it when these Victoria Secret models, as beautiful as they are, try to make us believe that the Victoria Secret Fashion Show is to empower us women and make us feel better about ourselves.

I don’t think they represent the average woman.   Real women come in different shapes and sizes. Real women struggle with big bellies, and big hips and thick thighs. Real women in different body shapes WANT to feel empowered and strong and sexy and want to wear pretty things, but if all we see are the impossibly thin bodies strutting around on stage, we don’t feel those things we should.

Do you think the Victoria Secret Fashion Show is REALLY meant for us ladies?  To promote their product?  I don’t.

It was an interesting conversation we had in the staff lounge earlier this morning when I asked the men in the room to weigh in. They agreed with most of what I said. Even going so far to say they thought the show was strictly for men.

When I expressed that the show left me feeling inadequate, one person I shared with, said he believes confidence is the sexiest thing about a woman.  Being confident in who she is.

Isn’t it hard to be confident when you are faced with images of an impossible to achieve level of perfection? Then we had a discussion about just how hard it is for men in the world as well – to feel they have to be ripped, six pack abs – looking a certain way.  But, the guys in the room all agreed, that women felt much more pressured to be perfect to be accepted and seen as beautiful. Interesting.

Men – it would seem – could let themselves go and still have a model on their arm.  It was to be praised and admired.  Women on the other hand would have to worry about their man leaving them if their hair wasn’t done and they weren’t always looking their best.  If they didn’t wear the lingerie 😉

How do we fix this?  I will admit the Victoria Secret Angels are stunning, beautiful, sexy.  But they don’t represent the average woman.

I hate that I let that stuff bother me still but I’m glad we get to keep having the conversations.

Real women do not look like Victoria Secret models.  It’s just a reality.  Those women who deprive themselves of food, and workout like a crazy person don’t represent real life.


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