I’m Not Sure I Have The Right Answer

Published On July 8, 2015 | By Carrie Buchanan |

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner have been dominating headlines the past week after announcing their plans for divorce.

One of those strong couples many of us thought would never go their separate ways. I guess I’m a fan of love, and true love and happily ever after so whenever anyone ends their relationship I get sad too.

Ben Affleck, in his 2013 Oscars acceptance speech, thanked his wife Jennifer Garner at the time for “working on our marriage for 10 Christmases.. it is work.. but the best kind of work.. and there’s no one I’d rather work with”.

It seems now that the divorce is looming, people are taking that statement from two years to mean they have always had problems.  First of all, it’s none of our business really.  It’s not our place to judge whether or not Ben cheated, or gambled, or drank too much.  It’s not our place to judge Jennifer either.

But we do, don’t we?  We keep reading the headlines, and wondering what went wrong?  Who’s fault is it?  I look at the pictures that have emerged this week and think, “it’s just so sad.”  It doesn’t matter what ended it, there’s tremendous sadness and a family that is broken.

An article today from the Huffington Post claims Ben Affleck and the Experts Are Wrong: Marriage Is NOT Hard Work. Hmmm.  Really?

I’ve been married 15 years.  Thank God I’m still married.  Seriously.  Because there have been some tough periods.  People change over time.  They discover different things about themselves.  Careers change.  Throw in life stressors like job loss, death, moving, financial struggles, kids etc.

So I’m wondering – if you are married, do you agree with this article?  Shouldn’t you put effort into being married?  Maybe it’s the definition of “work” that should really be explained.  Should you have to make an effort just to be nice to each other and want to do things for each other?  No.  But I think there’s a lot of learning that happens in a marriage.

What are your secrets to a happy marriage?  Because I would love to see a world with more happy endings, and less sadness.



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